A series of unfortunate events, and a decision to retire I still don't regret, but am disappointed when I threw the towel in, I was not more clear about Stephanov's departure.
While I miss the character, if I knew then, what I know now, I would have perhaps not accepted leadership in the first place (or perhaps started so soon to chase after it), and while being frustrated in other ways, avoided most of the fire I felt.
Roleplay first, and then agreements made by players and staff a leadership change was necessary. Intentional dropping of Stephanov's leader flag. and denial of KL. Listening to the community, just didn't feel earned - or that I grew into the role, without the support and lessons I went to join the group for in the first place. I picked up an MC flag without announcing it outside of group, just to be able to bring (I had hoped) replacements up quickly, who would see and seize the opportunity. Leadership was not my top priority - learning the PVP in a group that knew it's tactics and helped its members was. But that group that I had joined, was on a deep downward spiral.
The last day I played, Azoreth was still leader flagged. I shook my head and rolled with it. Into PK we went, against any common sense of preparedness. I did not argue. I was no longer the Commander, and there was another gap in admin/communication. He wanted to act like the KL, fine (rage). I knew as we went marching forth (livid at the situation), whenever I died next, I was done. To be killed by Legion, made me smile. The irony of the entire mess. I was informed of my promotion/been flagged, X amount of time would pass for staff/Azoreth to do their IC closing of things, flag changes. X passed, and it didn't happen. I _could_ have waited a day. I didn't. I did not retire over PVP. Just the disparity of the situation. I figured:
1. Email staff and let them know what I've now shared here. I feel there needs to be a review and improvement on administration of leadership flags for consistency and ensuring if something is said, it is done in a timely matter that doesn't interfere with RP.
2. I acknowledged the retirement was in haste, and since sudden, and as AZ was not yet demoted, to not strip him on account of what I was doing. To either keep him flagged until someone else climbed the ranks, or open up to the group and find someone who would. But, I really feel a 'not my problem anymore.' sort of relief.
Lessons learned -
Wishes are nice but they don't change reality -
I wish the veteran players instead of throwing (while understood) weight around became more player friendly to the group they're in, and used their force of will to improve an organization from within. I learned these players have limits, as much as I do. They just chose (and were armed with experience) to do so differently.
Three leadership flags in an organization don't work, especially when the organization is small and/or struggling. I would put an unless clause there (all players in the group agree to it), but no. It should not happen. Nothing good have I ever seen...
Direct communication between staff and leaders at the time players become leaders is essential and needs with absolution to be consistent. Any leadership change or decisions about leadership changes should be known to all leaders.
The rules, the SAME rules/regs need to be passed down to new leaders (and reiterated) to existing leaders by staff, and directly. The level to which this did not happen with any leadership of a trib/cabal I've been involved with I would point to as the root cause to all issues I've seen between staff and player in regard to leadership. Players DO contribute to some of the difficulties that arise, but so much of the decisions we all made as players (in any of these situations) would have been very different if we were all actually playing the same game. Much of the information I got in regard to my leadership flag, came from the knightlord, and was laced with his own agenda. Not knowing better, I fell right into this. I DID get an apology for this from staff, but that alone can not and did not solve the problem. I don't want to pin this on one staff member or another. Because this really is more of a system problem. Lack of definition and consistency.
And maybe it's a me thing and not a game thing - but you can't learn PK in a vacuum, but the game does seem to go from 0 to 60 when you join a group. If the group is not armed to take care of its members or a member doesn't want to at least try and learn/participate in the PK, it's a no win situation. Troubles come quick when you have a less experienced PVPer and no support, or you put that person in leadership and expect less than being made target #1 - especially bad in a group suffering attrition already. There are more aspects to leadership than PVP, certainly, and some larger groups with 2 active leaders can perhaps take one in more diplomatically suited, and that's worked, but at the core, even the rules reflect - joining a tribunal or cabal is grounds to be involved in PVP, simply for being a member of said group. If ever I consider, or am being considered for leadership down the line - to be far more aware and mindful of these things.
Thanks to some players:
Thank you to Azoreth for giving me the opportunity - botched though it was. I did enjoy the RP when you were around more.
Jomino - Steadfast, soldier. Not without his own struggles, but always owned up to his shortcomings and looked to learn from them. Some may hate him for his lack of PK ability, but to his credit, he picks up and keeps on going and trying to improve.
Thakathyi - Sincerely - and I've PM'd you this the same - Despite what some will say - our interactions were intense. While we had our differences, I did enjoy, PK, RP, and all.
You get a bad rep but I find when you are treated with respect, you throw it right back at people. You were a character I loved to hate. I wish we were more on the same side so I could have learned the PK technique instead of remaining such easy prey. But, you were the character I loved to hate.
Alira - until things just got awful, right? Thank you for being a partner and building him up. And the fun you had in pushing him back down, at all the wrong moments.
Still, game wouldn't have been the same without those interactions. And it would have been nice to see the story arc completed in time.
Yoona - <3 I can't stress enough. The RP, the PvP, the sense of sportsmanship, and the putting up with Stephanov in general. You were also in some rock and hard place situations and our interactions reflected that. Thank you.
Garnon - sad you had to go... too soon - glad to have known him.
Donith - diplomatic and solid interactions while I lasted.
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