Quote:
11. No spelling errors. Run spellcheck on everything you do. A spelling error = sloppy attitude = no acceptance of work.
? So I will never be able to write down a desc ?
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| Wert's Building Guide https://shatteredkingdoms.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=14812 |
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| Author: | werttrew [ Fri Jan 26, 2007 8:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Wert's Building Guide |
Back when I was an imm I often recruited players to help build areas. I had devised "Wert's Manifesto" as a guideline for what I wanted. I received a request for the building guide and realized that the one I had posted a while back was deleted, so I'm reposting it here. This was never supposed to be THE way descs should be written, but simply the way I asked for them to do. Plenty of great areas in SK violate all sorts of these rules. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- PART 1: THE MANIFESTO OVERALL RULES 1. Be imaginative! You can follow all the rest of these rules to the letter and still make a sucky desc. Be creative, be interesting. Write each description as if THIS description will be the one you will be judged on, the one which the entire area will be judged on. Write quality descriptions! 2. Every desc should be at least five lines long and no more than seven. Any less it makes the builder look lazy or hurried; any more makes the builder look pretentious or long-winded. [Note: That is, five to seven sentences or clauses, five to seven lines on a Word doc, not five-to-seven on the mud, necessarily.] 3. An old cliché for good writing that is still great advice: Show, don’t tell. Don’t say “this is a dead place”—state something like “a black pall hangs over the dead-brown grass, and even the lichen has died and is flaking off the tombstones.” Show me how it is a dead place rather than tell me it is a dead place. 4. Using the five senses makes for good descriptions: smell, touch, taste, sight, sound. Even when describing a NPC or an object. 5. No color codes ($). I’ll add these myself later. If you have suggestions for colors within the desc, I’ll make a note of it. 6. Don’t worry about adding in hard returns ($*) or formatting. Just write out the descs and I’ll do the formatting. 7. Send your docs to me as either rich text file attachments, MSWord attachments, or within the body of your e-mail. 8. Don’t use “you,” the second person. If you have to refer to the reader of the text, use “one,” the third person, and a qualifier. So, rather than: “You look down into the city and see…” you’d state “Looking down into the city, one can see…” 9. Avoid assumptive knowledge! Describe just what the player can see. 10. Don’t assume the player reading the desc is a humanoid (“You walk up to the gate…” What about those, like griffons, who fly?). Make a description that does not assume racial background from its readers. 11. No spelling errors. Run spellcheck on everything you do. A spelling error = sloppy attitude = no acceptance of work. ROOM DESCS 1. Every physical object mentioned or implied in the room descs should have an extended desc. (What I mean by an extended desc is when you can type “look wall” and see an additional description about the wall.) If it is important enough to mention in the room desc, it is important enough to have an extended desc! Here is an example of what I mean from Craeftilin. Constant Companions and Faithful Friends This shop is filled with steel cages and the smell of wet furry creatures. There are scratch marks everywhere. Loose bits of fur glow in the air as the light catches them. A polished wooden counter figures prominently in the middle of the room. Above the counter is a sign. In this example, we have extended descs for: light bits fur glow air scratch marks cages steel sign above counter Light, bits, air, fur, glow-- Hm, almost as if small water-loving mammals were getting into fights with each other. Scratch, Marks-- The kind of scratch marks left by a small water-loving mammal. Cages, steel-- The cages look well-kept and humane. Sign, Above-- A picture of a stubby gnome wagging his finger at a human woman with a ferret in her arms. The sign glimmers, and the figures move! The woman is crying hysterically while the gnome's lips move to form the phrase, "Absolutely no returns!" counter-- It is just the right size for a gnome merchant to sell from. Notice that these extra descs do not need to be 5-7 lines long—just a line or two is fine. And many of them can repeat. This stuff is the gravy, not the meat of the description. This also means you should be more sparing in your room descs. What I mean is, rather than saying, “a gold chandelier of a dwarven design, bedecked with small semi-precious jewels, hangs from the ceiling” in your room desc, you’d state, “a chandelier hangs from the ceiling” and then when a player would type “look chandelier,” you could then state: “This gold chandelier is of a dwarven design, bedecked with small semi-precious jewels.” You can even take it a step further, if you’d like, adding something for “look jewels.” Naturally, you could take this too far, but at least every physical object in a room desc should have additional description in the extended desc. 2. Do NOT mention NPCs or perpetual activity within the room desc. Do not mention in the room desc spiders crawling about, gulls cawing, or birds chirping. If we want those things, we can add them as NPCs or script echoes. As well, do not assume a time of day. “The market is noisy with shouting and gesticulating shopkeepers” is poor not only because it mentions NPCs (shopkeepers) but because it also assumes that the market is always open and always crowded and the shopkeepers are always shouting. If we want shouting and gesticulating shopkeepers, we can make them scripted NPCs. 3. No two rooms should be exactly alike. Even roads. While the first half of a room desc may be the same as another room’s, the second half should have some variety. Notice these two rooms: Laeranedor Avenue A wide, stately avenue of polished marble-and-obsidian S-shaped tiles moves north and south. The air holds the faint scent of burning wax candles and moisture. High above, lower Craeftilin's bowl-like ceiling slopes up from the north to an apex over the square to the south. A colossal boulder of green limestone nearly blocks off the avenue. A black pyramid rises up from the west. Laeranedor Avenue A wide, stately avenue of polished marble-and-obsidian S-shaped tiles moves north and south. The air holds the faint scent of burning wax candles and moisture. High above, lower Craeftilin's bowl-like ceiling slopes up from the north to an apex over the square to the south. There is a door to the east to a squat building of green limestone. A black pyramid rises up from the west. While the first half is identical, there is a difference in the second part. There should always be at least something different. If there isn’t, then there isn’t a purpose for the room. Even houses built the exact same way by the exact same persons will have something different—a different odor, perhaps, or more/less clutter. 4. Create each room as if it is the first room in the area a player has ever seen. Use the “teleport” principle: describe each room as if someone just popped in there by a random teleport. That is, don’t say “these walls are wider than elsewhere in the cave” or that “The ground is no longer muddy here.” Why not? Because you assume that the player has gone through the area in a certain way or you assume that the player is already familiar with other parts of the area—assumptions you can’t and shouldn’t make. NPC DESC 1. Using qualifiers for describing things like the way a NPC moves, talks, or what its eyes look like. That is, use if/when modifiers. “If your gaze meets his…” “When she speaks, it is with…” In other words, use if/when to describe all things that carry the assumption of activity. 2. Don’t describe temporary conditions (wounded, dirty, wet) in either the long description (the “adjective” part) or the description. No clothing or armor within the description itself. You can mention hairstyles/feather-styles and on occasion a scar or tattoo, but nothing that could change overnight. 3. Again, don’t create assumptive knowledge. I don’t want people to look at the NPC and somehow know that “Jack is the devious uncle to the king, working to overthrow the rightful monarch.” How would you know that just by looking at him? Keep descriptions purely physical—as if describing someone completely unfamiliar to you after observing them for only a few moments. Cultural histories and intrigue can be created through scripted NPCs and through books. 4. No two NPCs should look exactly alike. There may be multiples of the same NPC, of course, but no two sets of the same type of NPC should look alike. Two elderly griffons can look radically different. 5. While you may suggest them, don’t baldly state personality or other abstractions. “He is a paranoid man” is no good. “When he thinks no one is watching, he constantly looks over his shoulder” is fine. 6. Finish all long descs with “is here.” Like, “A black-winged griffon is here,” or “A sharp-beaked griffon is here.” Yes, I know that many areas in SK have fun or descriptive long descs—“A unicorn grazes in the grass,” or “A waitress hurriedly serves pitchers of beer to customers”—but I don’t want those kinds of long descs. NPCs can always move out or be moved out of their pre-planned place, and once again, it is an assumption to think that the NPC will be continually doing something or be continually in one place. So, just stick to “is here.” 7. In the descs, don’t refer to a NPC as “man” or “woman” unless it is a human or you make the race clear. For example, “This blonde woman has a faint scar running from her neck to her left ear” should only be written for a human NPC. “This blonde elven woman...” would work, however. OBJECT DESCs 1. Use lower case for the beginning of short descs, capitalized first letters for long descs. 2. Long and short descs should not be identical. The short—“a gold griffon crossbow marked with runes”—should not also be, in its long form, “A golden griffon crossbow marked with runes lies here.” It should be something markedly different: “A curious contraption lies here.” 3. All long descs should end with “lies here.” See my notes on “is here” for NPCs for an explanation. 4. All objects should have descriptions. This may sound obvious, but many areas have objects without descriptions. For this area, we want all objects to have descriptions. 5. All objects over level 20 or so (limited items) should also have a lore description. [See the addendum at the end of the document for further explanation of lore. ] PART 2: FORMAT FOR SUBMITTING DESCRIPTIONS Note especially when I use CAPITAL letters at the beginning of a line and when I use lower-case letters at the beginning. Notes in brackets [] are for your information only and not needed for the submission format. 1. [Rooms—use this pattern.] Room 1 [Assign each room you make a number or letter] Constant Companions and Faithful Friends This shop is filled with steel cages and the smell of wet furry creatures. There are scratch marks everywhere. Loose bits of fur glow in the air as the light catches them. A polished wooden counter figures prominently in the middle of the room. Above the counter is a sign. .f @ Extended Descs: [Every physical object described or suggested in the room desc. Use this format] Ed add Light bits air fur glow Hm, almost as if small water-loving mammals were getting into fights with each other. .f @ Ed add Scratch marks The kind of scratch marks left by a small water-loving mammal. .f @ Ed add Cages steel The cages look well-kept and humane. .f @ Ed add Sign above A picture of a stubby gnome wagging his finger at a human woman with a ferret in her arms. The sign glimmers, and the figures move! The woman is crying hysterically while the gnome's lips move to form the phrase, "Absolutely no returns!" .f @ Ed add counter It is just the right size for a gnome merchant to sell from. .f @ Connections: Room 1 connects to the north to Room 2 and to the southwest to Room 3. There is a secret entrance down to Room 7. [Tell me how this room connects to other rooms. If you are not certain, just say so--no problem.] Additional notes [optional]: I think this room should be no-magic and accessible only to those who can fly. 2. [NPCs—use this pattern] a black-winged male griffon A black-winged male griffon is here. DESC A young griffon of some 10 years. When he moves, this male with hawk-like eyes flicks his tail often in a testy and tense matter, scanning his surrounding carefully. His pelt is glossy and healthy, and his blue-black feathers shine in light. .f @ Additional notes [optional]: I see this fellow as a guard with haste, perhaps holding a polearm of some kind. 3. [Objects—use this pattern] SHORT a gold griffon mace marked with runes LONG A wicked-looking weapon lies here. NAME gold griffon flail marked runes wicked-looking weapon [enter every keyword for the object here] DESC This griffon-designed mace looks like it could cleave a grown human in two. Heavy and ponderous…[fill in the rest of the desciption] .f @ Additional notes [optional]: Griffon-only. Also, if you look at the runes, it says: “These runes can only be deciphered by one learned in lore.” LORE [all objects that you expect to be over level 20 should have lore]: The runes, an ancient variety of the Imperial language, read: ‘For Freewing Deltin, Hunter of the Year, 612 TA’. -=-=-=-=-=-=- Addendum: What is lore? What kind of things are you asking for in lore? Lore is a bard skill that reveals more about the object, particularly its history. Here are three sample entries for three different objects: 1. This spear was first know to reside in the hands of Kabahasta, the legendary centaur warrior described in "The Tale of the Golden Ones" in the library of Grahme. It was lost in a betrayal to a sorceror in the Torrum Arcana, where the spear resided for many years. Tregr was then lost for many years, rumored to have been stolen by an apprentice at the Arcana and sold to a rich merchant in the Empire. On occasion, it is said, the spear will lend power to its bearer mid-battle, unasked. 2. This item is one of the pieces made in the now-destroyed city of Seaside. Only a handful of these items are left in the realms. 3. Legends hold it that ice shamans from the Northern Wastes built three of these necklaces for the most esteemed elders of three different tribes. All items that are limited in some way should have lore. Lore wasn’t coded until a few years ago, however, so many objects on SK don’t have lore. We’ll be having lore on all of our limited objects. Will we be writing the second part of an object’s desc, too? Here’s what a typical object desc would look like. The oak handle of this weapon has split a few times and been rebound with leather, while the blade looks to have been sharpened and used and re-sharpened so often that the normal dip in the belly of the blade has become extremely pronounced, from a gentle curve to something just short of a hook. Small cracks are visible in the heavy spine of the blade, signs of frequent and violent use, and several lighter patches along the width of the blade look like they've had rust cleaned from them. The cutting edge is extremely sharp, and the weapon has a sense of solidity and weight in the hand. This straight dagger is a medium-sized dagger made of steel. The part you all will be writing will be just the first portion. The second portion (This straight dagger is a …) is generated by mud code automatically. |
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| Author: | meztiso [ Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: 11. No spelling errors. Run spellcheck on everything you do. A spelling error = sloppy attitude = no acceptance of work.
? So I will never be able to write down a desc ?
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| Author: | Goldlantern [ Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just get someone else to do it for you, mez. Or aspire to perfect your english skills. Hell, if Jan could do it, you can to. |
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| Author: | Snuffles [ Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
That's some great stuff there, Wert. But in all honesty I'd rather see Wert's Body Building Guide. 
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| Author: | karamor [ Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: 7. In the descs, don’t refer to a NPC as “man” or “woman” unless it is a human or you make the race clear. For example, “This blonde woman has a faint scar running from her neck to her left ear” should only be written for a human NPC. “This blonde elven woman...” would work, however.
I would prefer "This blonde elven female..." as woman is clearly a human female. |
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